January 19, 2014 at 2:15 pm #14937
I’m not sure if this is the right place to post, but I thought it might be helpful to start a collection of online resources for social anxiety. I recently came across a website which I’ve found very useful: http://www.succeedsocially.com/. The website contains a vast collection of articles on various ways of improving one’s social life and skills, which are categorised under different headings such as “Making Conversation”, “Having a Negative View of Certain Aspects of Socialising”, “The Process of Improving”, etc. The articles contain lots of very sound, practical advice on everyday social situations, and while a lot of what is written in them is common sense, I find they are written in a very logical and constructive way that can help to view things more objectively and rationally. The author is also clearly writing from personal experience so it is all true to the reality of the social world.
If anyone else has any suggestions, I would be happy to hear about them!
December 22, 2014 at 10:32 am #15194
‘Tis the season to be jolly, and for most people, this means attending an array of gatherings with family, friends and work colleagues. But while many of us look forward to such festivities, it is a different story for people with social anxiety disorder.
“Social anxiety disorder is characterized by the presence of fear or anxiety about social or performance situations in which the person is exposed to possible scrutiny by others,” Dr. Kalina Michalska, a research fellow in the Section on Developmental and Affective Neuroscience at the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH), told Medical News Today.
“The individual overestimates their likelihood of being rejected and frequently fears that he or she will act in a way that will be embarrassing and humiliating,” she added.
Of course, all of us have experienced shyness or nervousness in certain situations – when having to make a presentation to colleagues at work, for example, or when meeting people for the first time.
However, people with social anxiety disorder – also referred to as social phobia – worry so much about communal situations that the condition can become disabling, severely affecting their work, social life and relationships.
March 25, 2015 at 2:54 pm #15275
Hi everyone, I just want to put up a few points about blushing because in the last 6 months I feel I have overcome it about 80%, which I never expected! Im a female in my early 30s and I was always a blusher. But it never really bothered me until I was working a few years, and wanted to progress in my career and I felt I couldnt as I looked unprofessional as I couldnt open my mouth in a meeting without going red or if someone asked me a question or to show them how to do somethin I would go red. About 8 years ago I went to 2 therapists and they only helped me a small bit, no breakthrough. So I just muddled on through life, but as anyone who has experienced ths knows, you are not reaching your full potential and it becomes frustrating. I changed jobs a few times but it was always a sideways move or even a downward move. My last job was the worst of all and it drove me to make changes, I was being passed out by people who graduated about 7years after me, this made me feel crap. So the following things happened which i felt changed things around.
1. I went to a new hypnotherapist 6 months ago and she brought about huge changes. From the minute I went in, she listened to what my problem was and she made me feel totally confident that my blushing days were over, and better still, i believed her. Before that i thought i was some freak who had worse blushing tendencies than any other person in the world! She made me realise, that blushing was just a dirty habit that i had picked up and that i had become really good at it. Whenever i felt under the microscope, my first thought had become blushing. And thats all it is, just a habit.
2. She made a CD with all positive affirmations on it, because when you are a blusher, you are constantly bombarding yourelf with negativity and castastrophising every potential situation. I listened to it all the time for weeks because it blocked out all the negative stuff, believe me, it works! Surround yourself with positivity.
3. You need to expose youself to speaking and attention constantly until it becomes mundane. I know at work, its harder to do this, as you fear you will make a fool of yourself, your boss will think you are incapable, and you get fired (im catastrophising here as thats what blushers do!). So what i did, was talked in every situation possible, in shops talk to the assistants more, ask for directions, volunteer to read somewhere like mass, take up any opportunity that will involve you having a bit of spot light on yourself. Thats what has to be done, exposure, exposure, exposure!! Its proven for any fear, like fear of spiders, the only way to cure it, is to get used to what you are afraid of. Im suggesting things outside of work mainly first, because you know even if you have a big red face on you the first few times, it doesnt matter, you are reducing it after every experience.
I know that there is still a good chance that i can blush anytime, but it has no ruling over my life anymore. I refuse to let it stop me from reaching my potential, i am currently doing a course and i am hell bent on getting the job i deserve in the next few months. I think some of us just have skin that is more prone to blushing anyway so we will never be 100% rid of it. But dont assume its a terrible thing. When i see some one else blush i think its so sweet and sincere, but yet i always hated it in myself.
I just want to finish by saying to anyone who is feeling terrible because of bllushing, “you will get over it”, you just need to realise its your negative self talk thats fueling it.
Enjoy your life to the fullest!
March 25, 2015 at 3:03 pm #15283
Hi ‘my-story’ and thank you for your contribution.
Just a note here with respect to Hypnotherapy? Just to say that their is no convincing evidence – published in reputable peer review Journals – to suggest that hypnotherapy is an effective therapy for social anxiety.Certainly, finding a therapist that you feel listened to and has the ability to inspire you is definitely a bonus when you are trying to address the very real issues and distress associated with social anxiety. In contrast, affirmations and graded exposure certainly have much evidence to support their effectiveness – but they are hard work.
Thanks again for the post and delighted things are working out for you.
Odhran (forum moderator)
August 7, 2015 at 10:49 am #15417
August 7, 2015 at 10:59 am #15418
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